happy harry hard-on....

You are Hard Harry from Pump up the Volume You are shy, but once you overcome that you are inspirational to those around you. You are rebellious and like to push the authority figures buttons. Take this quiz

riverrun....

Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody. - Holden Caulfield

Northrop Frye posits that all literature is a derivation, extension, recreation, transformation or subversion of one master narrative - the quest for identity. While countless critics have argued against Frye's theory ad nauseam, I am finding that not only am I able to identify the patterns, metaphors and myths that mirror the singular narrative, but that it has become increasingly apparent that my life is a neverending quest. Literature and life have become analogous.

Recently, I have felt the need to reconnect with my past. I want to reforge the links: the gaps created by temporal and spatial constructs. I miss friends from long ago and relatives that live halfway around the world. The desire to spend time with them has become overwhelming.

Thanks to the Internet, I was able to track down one of my oldest friends, B, just yesterday. Pals since we were toddlers, the last time I saw him was when I visited the old neighbourhood years ago. Prior to that, we hung out the day before I moved away. Guessing at what high school he and others in my class may have attended, I was able to recognize a yesteryear enemy kid's name on a list, found B's e-mail address on said list and subsequently chat to him briefly through messenger. The triumph and evolution of technology! Although I don't know the person he's become, it was really nice just to talk and catch up, albeit for but a moment.

Like it or not, one's identity is formed and reshaped by those that they are closest to. And try as one might, it is impossible to run away from the past because essentially, it is a large part of who you are. A plethora of turns on the road to knowing one's self.

So, no matter how little I've said, I do miss everyone.


Oh yeah, I was also able to procure employment for the duration of the summer. Yay for me!

baseball pool bitch....

It's official! Three weeks into the major league baseball season and my team is toast. My chances of repeating as champion of our yearly baseball pool is remote at best. Drafting third this year, I seriously thought that I put together quite a powerhouse team. It just so happens that every single one of my offensive players is playing like a jabroanie and is off to a less than mediocre start. Thank goodness for my pitching staff or I would undoubtedly be lingering at the bottom. As it stands, I'm only fourth last. Yay for me. My draft went as follows:

1 - Mark Texeira (Tex/1B)
2 - Manny Ramirez (Bos/OF)
3 - Chone Figgins (Ana/2B)
4 - Aramis Ramirez (Cubs/3B)
5 - Josh Beckett (Bos/SP)
6 - Ichiro Suzuki (Sea/OF)
7 - Ryan Howard (Phi/DH)
8 - Bartolo Colon (Ana/SP)
9 - Josh Willingham (Fla/C)
10 - Curt Schilling (Bos/SP)
11 - BJ Ryan (Tor/RP)
12 - Matt Clement (Bos/SP)
13 - Juan Pierre (Cubs/OF)
14 - Nomar Garciaparra (LAD/SS)

Right now, Garciaparra is back off the DL and actually hit a salami last night. However, Colon just went on the DL, so I picked up Tom Glavine. Of course, Mets' manager Willie Randolph had a brain cramp and continually walked Barry Bonds last night and sure enough, Moises Alou made the Mets pay for these decisions. Why the hell wouldn't Randolph just let Glavine pitch to Bonds? It's not like Bonds was tearing up the league. Glavine's been doing great and the lefty vs. lefty matchup favoured the pitcher. Dammit. Instead, Glavine got lit up like a Christmas tree by the right-handed hitting Alou. Dumb, dumb, dumb! And why I have NO Indians on my team is beyond me. I can't even cheer for my favourite team. Yup, it's sure 'gonna be a longgggggggg summer! Ugh.

me too....

(ABC) Meme Aussi

Accent: Best description so far - "You sound like a valley girl on crack!" Thanks, Elyse!
Booze: Tequila, big-ass buckets of Long Island Iced Tea in Cali, Sangria.
Chore I hate: Cleaning the washroom!
Dog or Cat: Dog.
Essential electronics: Panasonic mini audio recorder, Korg analog guitar tuner. Both are lifesavers!
Favorite cologne(s): Trussardi.
Gold or Silver: Silver.
Hometown: T-dot, baby! Stupid-ass hip-hop vernacular. Toronto!
Insomnia: Sure. Why not?
Job title: Grad student. Anyone hiring for the summer?
Kids: 'Gotta love 'em!
Living arrangements: With H, the girlfriend, in a rented townhouse.
Most admirable trait: The uncanny ability to feign interest.
Number of sexual partners: Just one, of course!
Overnight hospital stays: Nopers.
Phobias: Growing up!!!
Quote: "If humanity is to pass through its present crisis on earth, it will be because a majority of individuals are now doing their own thinking." - Buckminster Fuller
Religion: Confusing.
Siblings: 2 brothers, both step, both Americans.
Time I wake up: Before 7 am. Like clockwork.
Unusual talent or skill: Apparently, I have the strange ability to engage in fully lucid conversations while comatose/asleep. Weird!
Vegetable I refuse to eat: Bitter melon. Yuck!
Worst habit: NOT keeping my thoughts to myself. Often. Also, relying heavily (often exlusively) on my intuition.
X-rays: Yup! The latest was of my pinky. Not broken but messed up a tendon due to a vicious slash during shinny (a pick-up game of ice hockey) of all things!
Yummy food I make: Man, can I cook! Truly. Ribs, spring rolls, menudo, roasts, seafood paella, creamy soups, pork barbecue, shrimp with lobster sauce, tempura, nikujaga. I just can't bake! :)
Zodiac sign: libra

homeless in toronto....

The following exerpt comes from the Canada's "National Newspaper" dated April 22, 2006.

The article can be found at http://www.theglobeandmail.com/

I know a few of the volunteers who participated as surveryors on this project. The responses were not surprising, yet remain somewhat intriguing. Homelessness amidst the splendor. Found daily in Canada's largest, and arguably, most famous city too. Democracy and capitalism indeed!!!


HOMELESS in the city

Armed with a seven-page survey and the hope of finding out more about our street population, teams of volunteers roamed the sidewalks this week conducting Toronto's first survey of homeless people. To get a sense of the responses, photographer KEVIN VAN PAASSEN and writer IAN DAFFERN toured the city asking some questions from the survey -- and a couple of their own. Their portraits of life on the street begin on M2


FRANK, 48, Yonge and Eglinton, outside T-D Canada Trust, 10:45 p.m.

Q: Are you on a waiting list for housing?
A: No. No waiting list.

Q: Do you want to get into permanent housing?
A: No. I live in a bank machine. That's good enough for now.

Q: How long have you been there.
A: Quite a while.

Q: How long have you been homeless?
A: Thirteen years on the street -- but not all of it was spent in a bank machine.

Q: How long have you been in this neighbourhood up here?
A: This is just periodic. Once in a while. All winter I don't come up to this area so much. Ya try and stay inside, eh? You know those corridors? You know those tunnels? Underground complexes and stuff. Try and stay in there all winter.

Q: Please describe the place where you will stay tonight.
A: As I say, it will be a bank machine or something like that. Down at Yonge and King.

Q: Are there any other questions the city should be asking the homeless in order to help them?
A: Less intervention -- that's what I think. Living on the street is totally antisocial, let's face it. You don't have any friends. You're just making as much as you can, hand to mouth, eh? You're doing your own thing; you go to a neighbourhood or you sit on a park bench and you beg, and then you get the police wanting you to do it their way -- you know what I'm saying? Or a city worker, who wants you to go to a hostel.


SARINO PUGLIESE, 34, outside Seaton House, 9:14 p.m.

Q: Are you on a waiting list for housing?
A: Personal apartment, yes. Sitting here is temporary.

Q: How long have you been on the waiting list for housing?
A: I just applied the other day, because I just came out of [jail in] Lindsay. So I gotta wait a couple months, or so, for a new residence. Get something happening in my life.

Q: How long have you been homeless?
A: Eight months. I spent five months or more in Lindsay. Been here since January.

Q: Please describe the place where you will stay tonight.
A: Right here, Seaton House. That's right.

Q: Are there any other questions the city should be asking the homeless in order to help them?
A: They're asking the people how they like it here. What's the food like.

Q: What's the food like?
A: It's not bad, compared to Lindsay. Jail food. It's pretty good.

Q: So you don't mind staying here?
A: It's better than sleeping on a park bench, eh?


FRANK WINTERICK, 51, Dundas and Jarvis, outside a corner store, 8:37 p.m.

Q: Are you on a waiting list for housing?
A: No, I'm on the street. Paranoid schizophrenia -- I hear voices. And you know . . .

Q: Have you ever been in housing?
A: Never. Never. Just the hostel.

Q: Do you want to get into permanent housing?
A: My worker's working on that right now.

Q: How's that going?
A: Good. Within a couple days.

Q: How long have you been homeless?
A: Ever since I was 15. Well, I've rented rooms, but they don't last.

Q: Please describe the place where you will stay tonight.
A: In some stairwell.

Q: Where's the stairwell -- do you have a place picked out?
A: I got 90 different places. As long as it's warm.

Q: Are there any other questions the city should be asking the homeless in order to help them?
A: More cheap housing. And food. That's it.

Q: Do you think the city should be out here asking questions?
A: I do think so, that's the main thing. That way, people can be aware of what's going on.


DEBBIE ENGIS, 41, Parliament and Dundas, 9:27 p.m.

Q: Are you on a waiting list for housing?
A: Yes. A long one, apparently.

Q: How long have you been on the waiting list?
A: Four years. That's a long time!

Q: When was the last time you updated your application or made sure you were on the list?
A: I'm still on it somewhere -- or I'm on a new list. What a joke.

Q: When was the last time you updated that?
A: January. Whoopee. Then they told me [it would be another] eight years. I'll be pretty old by the time I get a home.

Q: How long have you been homeless?
A: Three years.

Q: Please describe the place where you will stay tonight.
A: Lombard. 87 Lombard. I'm not staying here -- I just got kicked out. Because I'm nasty. I don't like them searching my belongings.

Q: What's the place like, that you're going to be staying at?
A: Oh, yuck! I'd rather sleep outside.

Q: What's the problem with the coupons they gave you for doing this survey?
A: I got no teeth. And my kids are too old for McDonald's.

Q: Are there any other questions the city should be asking the homeless in order to help them?
A: Yeah, why the aboriginal question -- who cares? [All participants are asked whether they identify as aboriginal.]


ROGER, 48, north of Yonge and Eglinton, 10:40 p.m.

Q: Do you wanna fight? What do you want?
A: Hold on. Spare change! Hello! Camera-man!

Q: Are you on a waiting list for housing?
A: No! I've got my own condominium! I've got the keys in my pocket! I'm not homeless -- get out of my way before I kill ya! Hahahaha.

Q: Are you on a waiting list for a place?
A: Yeah. Probably.

Q: When was the last time you updated the application or checked to see if you're still on the list? A: Two years ago. It takes two years.

Q: Do you want to get into permanent housing?
A: Of course. You got your own housing. You wanna live in a house.

Q: How long have you been homeless?
A: About 10 years.

Q: Please describe the place you will stay tonight.
A: Cardboard box. Know what a cardboard box is?

Q: Is that where you usually stay?
A: In the summertime, not in the winter. Inside an old car, or inside a building.

Q: What question do you think the city should be asking homeless people to help them?
A: Well. Where's a bed, and where's something to eat?


UNIDENTIFIED MAN, Queen and Lansdowne, 11:13 p.m.

Q: Do you mind if we take a picture for The Globe and Mail?
A: Man (slurred)

Q: Do you mind if I take a picture of you?
A: You don't mind, eh? Just coming over a drunk guy . . . you not taking no pictures . . . no, not know that. You're gonna get it right in the balls.

Q: Okay, we'll leave you alone.


Boy, I sure can't wait until Vancouver hosts the 2010 Winter Olympics. Hello, Downtown Eastside! I wonder where "THEY" will decide to relocate the natives. What a fucking joke.


Rock & roll. Matters. Deal with it!

spit....

Went to a party held by my cousin K and her hubby G on Saturday night. What intrigued me about this particular shindig was the fact that they were able to procure a spit, a la My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Visions of the whole slew of them taking turns rotating the skewered carcass was just too intriguing to pass up. Of course, nothing ever goes as planned. Thanks to my chronic lateness, I missed the entire cooking-in-the-spit-deal, although they cheated and utilized a motorized "spinner," and all they basically did was get liquored up and alternately eat hunks of meat while it was cooking. Despite the rainy weather, the lamb was damn good! The rest of the evening consisted of watching my Flyers lose the first game of their series, playing poker, socializing a little, hardly drinking and smoking even less.

K also notified me that my mom had sent out an e-mail (which I wasn't privy to) regarding "the family name" showing up in King Kong, thanks of course to Hollywood bro. Great. Now I have to try and get a version of the flick just to see what the hell all the fuss is about. Ugh!

i suck....

Wowzers! I attempted to re-structure this thing only to revert back to the original format that I chose. What a complete waste of time. All the links and everything that I had previously modified got wiped out, so I had to re-do! **Note to self: DO NOT EVER CHANGE THE FORMAT - THIS IS IT - FOR NOW AND FOREVER***

links....

OK, so I really have very little knowledge about html, computer language and the like. I'm currently working on links and have decided to include some of the bloggers that I enjoy following/reading. I really hope that they won't mind. As well, I'll probably have links to other equally intriguing sites on the 'net as well as some other neat stuff, according to my demented standards.

Bingo! Since countless amounts of people have links to their favourite bands/artists, I thought that I'd attempt to be different and instead post links to relatively obscure bands/artists that I have played with, are friends with or simply adore - those that can benefit from the publicity. And NO, they're not all punk either. Enjoy!

desperately seeking employment....

The end of the school year is often marked by the stark reality that faces me afterwards - work and $$$. Around this time, my funds are usually depleted. Any monies (scholarships, grants, loans, bursaries) received during the academic calendar have somehow evaporated. So I am left with very few options: working for THE MAN (manifest in various forms); sucking it up and begging the mother for cash (if I can get hold of her); hitting up Hollywood brother for a loan (we're not THAT close); continue to do absolutely nothing (hoping that H, THE g/f, doesn't freak out on me). All choices seem viable, yet some more unrealistic than others. My infrequent dealings with THE MAN this year has resulted in the following: the possibility of returning to the same summertime bank job I have held the previous two years, beginning in mid-May (when they start to get busy in my particular department); being been offered a position as a "recruitment officer" for an energy company yesterday (I just KNOW that this will suck major ass); working for a friend who serves a function within the construction industry (manual labour! YIKES!); waiting on one of the few "preferred" jobs that I have actually bothered applying for. As well, the Uni has also begun to post relatively shit paying positions for summer students, so I guess that this becomes another option. I already filled out the corresponding paperwork for the energy company, and the recruiter expects me in for training on Monday morning and subsequently, out on the field on Tuesday. The salary + commission structure seems to be much too good to be true so the entire thing smells like cack!
I'll probably be making a plethora of phone calls today as well as keeping an eye on workopolis, just in case something primo comes up. ARGHHHHHH! Decisions, decisions. Days like this make me even more nostalgic for the simplicity of youth. A time when the credo "Damn the man" resonated loud and true!

here we go....

The allure of participating in the blog community has become too intense to resist. Having recently been introduced to this form, revelling in the role of and simply participating as a voyeur has become somewhat counter-productive and paradoxical: I have far too much to say and want the opportunity to voice my opinion when I choose! I have no illusions as far as this space goes, and neither should you. My space, my voice, my truths - mediated by language. Perhaps a meaningless attempt to describe the ineffable. Who the hell knows? I guess the best way to approach this and remain as "truthful" as possible is to disregard the "audience" and treat this space as a personal journal of sorts. Who knows, maybe all the information and crap posted on here will allow me to organize my thoughts in such way that I will able to continue working on that put-off-for-far-too-long-just-have-no-inspiration piece of literature that resides somewhere within. Me, myself and I. My own private Idaho. Ha! So, without further adieu, here we go....


My "handle" - ChrryBlstr - several possible interpretations - let the mystery remain.

The name of this place - Cigarette Songs - derived from the title of one of my old band's songs - one of the few that I actually sang lead in - kind of appropos, I thought.

My first post - Well, it would be only fitting that it be an old ramble about a summertime love, of course!


A summer story

i love you….i’ve always loved you….the voice trailed off…it was me i didn’t believe in….time and again….you told me….one of your rules….you never go back….the beginning….the fall….the end….

maybe it was because summer was near….summer was here….

or perhaps it was how they met….by chance….fate….destiny….two souls wandering….not really in search of anything….colliding….amidst all the confusion….the most unbelievable medium….happen chance….
coincidental….pure luck….a simple hi….are you a friend of….have you seen….the exact words uttered….forgotten….so long ago….
yesterday….they were insignificant…. interchangeable….
unimportant….yet….they were key….these simple words….the chance meeting….the second or third glance….they began….the tale of that summer….

spectacular….fantastic….wonderful….tiring of time worn clichés….
qualifying vernacular notwithstanding….attempting to explain to others how their respective summers were unfolding….when questioned….in love….two simple words explained it the best….the beauty of it all….the allure….the simplicity….it was summer….

beautiful….classy….demure….tough….pristine….innocent….
unparalleled....sitting prettily atop that vestibule….laying claim to his pedestal….unbeknownst to even her….or maybe she knew….
unfailing….loyal….cool….the ultimate….prize….unattainable….to anyone else….she was in love….her first….his….summertime….

rough….gentle….hot….freaky….athletic….witty….diverse….a contradiction of terms….rock & roll, matters, deal with it….his battle cry….placing her on that pedestal….with care….conviction….he was hers to treasure….only her….brilliant….untouchable….unaffected….
unabashed arrogant self-absorption….gorgeous….he was in love….like never before….hers….summertime….

opposites attract….so much alike….lovefool….chrry blstr….infectious smiles….long flowing tresses….to die for….sexy….i will remember you….sunrise in toronto….intoxicating scents….black cherry nail polish….chumbawumba….lingering touch….lips so soft….
combustible….shapely….black leather jacket….ponytails….
tattoos….seductive glances….sunrise by the harbour….will you remember me….yuca city….hardbody….kick-ass boots….smothering kisses….banana splits….black cherry lipstick….sunset by the bay….
avant garde….weep not for the memories….multi-tasking….
sunset in san francisco….body piercing….benson & hedges gold….
romeo and juliet….honkers….unbridled romance….that summer….

do you like american music….bleed a little while tonight….face painted cigarette white…it’s such a gorgeous sight to see you eat in the middle of the night….lost inside those big brown eyes….in the playground behind our past….i just want to make love to you on some dark rainy street somewhere….slowly now we begin to move….echoes of reggae coming through my bedroom wall.…been around the world and found that only stupid people were breeding….everybody’s happy when the dead come home….don’t let me down gently no don’t let me down at all….what the hell am i doing here….you have changed but i still feel the same….i stumbled out in the world for you….together in electric dreams….the end of innocence….the end of summer….

much too difficult….impossible….click….betrayal.…the wonder years….happy when it rains….a myriad of broken dreams….as the statue falls to the floor….how good it feels to be alone tonight….
communication breakdown….never tell anybody too much because you’ll start missing them when they’re gone….never before….never again….holden….a painful lesson learned….the fall….the end….